10 funny comebacks for every time someone asks ‘when are you getting married?

 

“So it’s your turn now. When is your wedding?” This question looms in every corner of a wedding and you will be attacked when you least expect it, especially if you happen to be having a good time because how dare you? This question is the bane of every 20-something’s existence as soon as they reach ‘marriageable age.’ Granted, some people use the inquiry as a conversation starter, but how about replacing an invasive question with something less offensive like “What’s up?” That’s a great conversation starter and you’re giving the responder the option to tell you only what they want. Not only is marriage and the decision to commit to someone extremely personal, it is ridiculous that a person in their 20s suddenly becomes a concern for acquaintances, relatives of acquaintances, and then some more.

If you’re a single woman, or man, and you’re attending a wedding, may god give you the strength to survive those torturous couple of hours. But till the forces that be get their act together, here’s some help at hand for the next time you’re faced with this question.

  1. WHEN I WIN THE LOTTERY

It can be used to suggest that the probability of you walking down the aisle is statistically so little it can be synonymous to “never”! Furthermore, you can explain that weddings are costly and you can’t afford such expenses. As a safeguard, mention that you have to save for the possible divorce,  as responsible people always prepare for the unexpected. Your aunts won’t be happy with the answer, but at least it will shut them up for a while.

  1. WHEN HIS / HER WIFE / HUSBAND GETS OUT OF JAIL AND GRANTS HIM / HER THE DIVORCE

Now that’s a double shot and will certainly leave any nosy buddy in enough awe of you long enough to have time to change the subject or flee the scene. Talking casually about your partner’s imaginary spouse is shocking enough, but add “jail” and “divorce” in the same phrase and nobody will ask the question again.

  1. WHEN IS YOUR FUNERAL?

It works with old members of the family you don’t like much, but don’t do this to any of your parents or they will be heartbroken. It may work brilliantly with that old annoying family member you see once every few years at family gatherings. Chances are you won’t even have to invite her to the wedding – if it happens – as she probably won’t speak to you ever again.

  1. WE DID GET MARRIED LAST WEEK IN VEGAS. SORRY FOR NOT INVITING YOU

You can actually push a little further and go on by telling the person you wanted a small, intimate ceremony which gathered only the family and very close friends. Make sure you won’t lose a friend over this answer.  If things get a bit hot, make sure they won’t get upset with you for making a tasteless joke.

  1. AFTER NOBODY ELSE ASKS ME THIS

Tell your friends and family that you will get married only after nobody ever asks you again this question. This will get them puzzled and quiet for a while.

6. Bachche Toh Ho Gaye… Why Would I Get Married Now?

Isn’t that what you want? To play with my babies.

7. Whenever My Boyfriend Is Ready To Leave His Wife

We have an understanding, I’m sure you understand.

8. Aunty, My Type Of Shaadi Isn’t Legal In India Yet

My girlfriend and I need to move to Canada soon.

9. Oh My Horoscope Mentioned Something About A Pain In The Ass Today

And here you are!

10. Kyun? Are You Gifting Me A Sabyasachi Lehenga?

If I get married, it has to be Yash Raj style.

 

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