13 Things You Face When You’re Friends With An Over-thinker


You may be familiar with the term overthinking. You may have friends who do overthink or perhaps it could be you, yourself among your own friends. We have a lot of opinions regarding this nowadays. Some may say it’s good and useful, while others may say it wastes your time. In my opinion, it could be either. It truly depends on the person. But what people sometimes fail to realize about overthinking before judging another person is that it often comes inherently to people.

I, myself never just woke up one day, thinking that I want to be one who overthinks. I know it may sound strange, but it just happened. I have been overthinking all my life, and honestly, I did not know how different it is to be one who overthinks compared to one who doesn’t until recently. I realized there were so much things about us that weren’t alike with others. As such, I ended up with this list regarding how it really is overthink. Personally, I have come to stop hating myself for overthinking, and I hope that if you do overthink, you’re not so far off either. I hope these would allow you guys to understand overthinking more, whether it may be you or someone else you know.

When your best friend is an over-thinker, you learn that life is deeper than it looks. You also understand how exhausting it can be to look too much into things sometimes.

But it’s not that your BFF is insecure or even anxious, it’s that they like to think a lot and you wouldn’t have it any other way because it’s what makes them unique:

  1. You guys have nights where you talk about everything and I mean everything because they always talk out their thoughts. But you don’t mind because it’s great to have those deep, casual conversations over beers and you understand they have to talk out their thoughts or else their brain burns out.
  2. You’re the stop button to their running mind. You’re thinking way too into this is a statement you use often in order to put their thinking to a halt, so they could just enjoy the moment.
  3. They love your bluntness. They don’t have to over-think the things you say because you’re always straight forward. If that dress they’re wearing to go out makes them look chunky, then you’ll say it even if they’ll have a hard time letting that critic go.
  4. You sometimes text them emojis on purpose. You know they can’t stand it when text messages are hard to decipher which is why you’ll text them a stream of emojis without words. You know it’s wrong but you can’t help it. It’s funny to see them text WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!?! in response to a mixture of smiley and cat emojis. 
  5. You love to see them drunk. They become sloppy intellectuals who give philosophies on things like the twitter war between Meek Mill and Drake: Meek Mill teaches us that you can win battles but you can’t win wars.
  6. It comes with always thinking that you can do something about what you come up with.

This is true, for a lot of those who overthink. After coming up with that final answer, you’d like to come up with the next concrete things you will do. This is precisely because of the fact that even if you are pessimistic, you’d still like to achieve what you truly aim. With this, you try overthinking and just hope that whatever insights you come up with can guide you with what to do next. Who knows right, there might still be a bit of time to improve the outcome you ended up with. However, the flaw here is that no matter what, we are still plagued with worries. Before doing something different, you end up worrying about its implications, what it can do, and that just leads to overthinking once again. Furthermore, others fail to realize that there are a lot of things that don’t just change. We always think that we can do something about things, and that’s what we’ve believed through our lives. Yet, when you look back, you may still find those instances wherein you did try to change an outcome for the better but you failed to do so. There must have been something wrong you did or missed out on along the way. It doesn’t really matter, you still continue overthinking anyway.

  1. It may lead to people struggling to understand a person.

There will be times that you’d be lucky, that you end up talking to someone else who had experience overthinking or just knows about it, but there will also be times that you come across a person who does not understand you at all. Others may even question your thoughts and what you do, not understanding why you do it again and again anyway. I understand. The struggle is real, and we don’t mean to make ourselves different from others. It kind of just turns out that way. But that’s the reality. We all have our own ways of thinking, of analyzing, and there would be people who fail to understand us. Others may be patient, while others may easily give up. The point is, when these people try explaining how they overthink, they are are actually trying to open up. You may be trying to allow someone to know you more, it’s never meant to discriminate yourself from others.

  1. It could be the one thing that allows you to sleep peacefully.

Or not sleep at all. I’ve mentioned this earlier, but I’d rather talk about it more. Overthinking is not just about being simply addicted to it. We don’t do it just to do it. We often do it clear up our thoughts, understand the things around us more. And usually, that is what you’d want to do. Also, after doing it repeatedly throughout all the other days of your life, it’s just hard to sleep without going through that stage. At times, it’s even hard to go through a day without doing so as well. It becomes a part of who we are, who you are, and in my opinion, I have come to love it.

  1. If you leave them hanging with some secret, they are likely to lose their mind over it


It’s an evil thing you do, but it’s so much fun to watch them freak out over it. ?


  1. You’ve probably asked them to shut up and not over-think everything so much


“Dude, you need to chill.”


  1. You secretly even worry about them, because you know how much their over-thinking makes them suffer


Sigh. Their brains need a little rest.


  1. But, this quirk of theirs makes you like them too, because they’re the innocent one among your friends


And you get to baby them (and yell at them) all the time.


  1. And you know that despite this habit, they can take care of themselves when necessary


Their brains might have too many tabs open, but they’re also really tough. And that’s what counts


So to close, I’d like address first those who don’t overthink. I understand that it may not make much sense for you. Yet still, I ask that you understand those who do. Be patient with them. Understand that if it’s a part of who they are, then they can’t just pull it out of themselves without changing. I’m not asking you to support them or anything, but that would of course be great. But what I’m really just asking is to please understand them as much as possible. Don’t go straight to thinking that these are different people. Our brains work in different ways. Respect theirs as they respect yours.

On the other hand, to those who overthink, I understand that it can be annoying, but overthinking like this often really does give you a lot of insights. Of course, as a whole, not all of your assumptions may be spot on, but there will be things that would turn out to be true as well. And these little things, can give us the edge. They can give you a bit of knowledge that others don’t, it can allow you to understand before everyone else. Even more, doing so not only constantly trains our brains, but it also simultaneously trains one’s resilience, perseverance, and determination. As such, it’s never about just your analyses, nor thinking outside the box. Overthinking allows you to be much more effective and efficient. It helps you to continue trying no matter how many times you fail. It helps you to get used to those trapped situations you may feel, to be able to find a way out.

Overthinking is not a curse. It has its cons, sure. But if you’ve embraced it as something truly part of you, then you will understand the nature that comes with it. You will understand how to harness it for your own advantage, how to love the advantages it gives you, and most of all, how to live with it without hating yourself.\




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