Am I your history or happily-ever-after love story?

My head says  I`ll find someone better.
Maybe I just need to explore.
At times I`m not so sure
If I`m happy with the way you are, or I really need more.

Could you try a little harder
And let the pain through?
Every word I`ve ever written for you
Is nothing but the truth.

I don’t know what you like and what you don’t
Whether you’ll choose to make my history or you won’t.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t try so hard
But I want to know
How far I can go
Whether it will all pay off in the end
And possibly, someday a lover letter you will send and not remain just a friend.

Asking about your day,
Telling you about mine,
Talking until nightfall,
Hoping for a wake-up call, to see the sunshine
And then wait to start it all again.

It might sound boring
Around you I feel like a walking-talking nothing.
Shouldn’t it be the opposite of that ugly feeling?
I should get my head checked,
It’s so confusing!

I`m starting to lose patience with myself.
To calm down, I try rearranging my shelves.
I find a poem I wrote in your name
Forgotten among the many books I`ve read
And I`m no longer filled with dread.

Am I outgrowing you?
Could that even happen?
I don’t know what to do!
I`m too afraid to let my feelings deepen.

I  frown and twist and turn
And hate you for taking a piece of me to the quern
When I don’t hear from you for a while,
But you are so clueless about how much I care,
There goes another one to the pile
About which with you, I`ll never share.

So many questions and so little time.
The most important being- will you still want to be mine
When I`m far away and you are too
And days don’t seem too good?
I don’t want to be a fixture in your past
Although I`m tired of being put last-
Whether it’s on your mind
Or in your heart,
If you have something to say, you better start.

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One thought on “Am I your history or happily-ever-after love story?

  1. Odilia Wismer says:

    An interesting discussion is worth comment. I think that you should write more on this topic, it might not be a taboo subject but generally people are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers

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