Be you

So who am I?

Me, myself and one and only my lovely Nira… Someone’s Arundhati, Some call me Rinkai…Someone shouts my name as Hridi and someone describes me as Raka.

 

But these are only names right?My own identity is based on me,the total me.People judge me for my “character”,for my chubby looks,for being “anti social”,for being “rude” to them.

 

But to me,I was only being myself and the process is still in ongoing phase.

 

Yeah,I have big boobs,large waist.I face hairfall and pimple problems often.I have dry skin,I wear specs that’s why I can’t enjoy rain often, can’t jump into the sea or can’t play with ice balls because taking off the specs makes me less visionary.

 

Yeah,I am more interactive with guys than girls.I am friendly but I don’t have friends.I had but somehow it’s my mistake or their,I couldn’t figure it out.I tried to get back them but I failed.

 

People do gossip behind me,I know very well.My photos become screenshot and travel from one’s phone to another one’s.

 

I often feel lonely and depressed.I don’t have job right now.The work I do is mostly freelancing work.When I see my batchmates getting placements I feel scared,start having sleepless nights.

 

I belong to Bengali medium background.So my spoken and written English skills are weaker than other people.I try to correct it but sometimes I fail and feel embarassed.

 

This is “ME”.All these things I just shared with you is the story of being myself.I was sorry previously for being myself but not anymore.I roam around alone,I have just returned home from a movie hall watching “Veere Di Wedding” alone.I eat alone in restaurants,I drink coffee in coffeeshops all by myself.

 

Still I feel so occupied.Because I have discovered myself beautifully.I have OCD,I have anxiety, depression but I never wanted to change the real me and after giving it a try I am living the life being myself.

 

I am sorry if I have made any mistake (obviously I did),made someone hurt (obviously…),did some misdeeds (repeat the word obviously)… I learnt from these a hell lot of things and I will be learning more.

 

Never try to be another person.Follow someone but don’t be the same.

You are your own fate decider.

Just be you.Life will be yours then.

 

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