Bed, blanket and the moonlight

The blanket was warm. The bed was cozy. 

It was December 20th.

The night was hazy and my future was blurry. 

He was right there, sleeping next to me. His eyes were closed but I could see the hundreds of oceans his blue eyes could carry. His hands were softer than a feather, and our fingers were entangled with each other, blending Perfectly.

My hand was caressing his light brown hair, I know he liked it even in his sleep. The moonlight passed through the cracks of thr old window and fell on his eyes and my love was back from the land of his dreams.

 His small fingers were fidgeting with his eyes for I knew he could see millions of galaxies at that moment. He gave me a smile and I knew I was better, better than I’d been on my best days. 

“Were you staring at me all this time?”, he asked. I didn’t say anything for I was aware he knew the answer.

 I was jubilant but the air around my ears muttered a tune of great sadness. 

The clouds camouflaged the moon and the stars were no longer important to me. 

“Are you all right?”, I asked, I didnt know why. 

It just  felt like that question needed answers. 

Don’t I look okay to you?”, he said, in a much annoyed version of his voice. He thought I knew, but darling, I didn’t. 

“Is something wrong?” 

I asked in a husky voice for I was holding back my tears. Tears, I’d say are bizarre guests at times. 

I knew I shouldn’t have asked that question because the only two possible answers to that question are “NO” and a simple lie. 

“I need to tell you something”, he replied while turning his head away. I imagined he didn’t want me to see him cry. Little did he know that I was right there by his side after his baby brother died and I had seen his tears falling and leaving a print on his jeans and… our hearts.

 The blanket was no longer warm, the bed was not cozy. It felt like a bed of thrones, like hundreds of swords had annihilated the traces of my skin. “What is it?” I asked, with a few pre conceptions in my mind.

I saw his eyes, and now I saw the dark circles, the fingers were not soft anymore, they felt coarse.

 “I’m dying, I’m sorry” 

And everything stopped, no wind, no breath, no moonlight. Time stopped. My universe stopped. “I’m dying” He…was dying. My love…was dying. 

And it dawned on me. I knew it all along when I saw the reports lying on the coffee table we bought at the yard sale. 

But for once, I refused to believe myself and got carried away with the lies his eyes had declared. He..was dying. 

I couldn’t do anything about it and

he lived for 1 year and 4 months with a dying body and I’m still living with a dying soul.

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One thought on “Bed, blanket and the moonlight

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